Friendship 101

On finding writer friends

Photo by Surface on Unsplash

Writing can be an incredibly lonely endeavor. Just you in a quiet space with words that may or may not be flowing. It is so important to find writer friends who get it. Who are in the trenches with you. Who are on your side and root for you no matter where you are in the writing process and no matter where you want to go.

But where do you find these magical creatures? Here are a few of my ideas. Take a look and then please share your own - along with any inspiring stories of how your writer friends have made your life better! - in the comments.

1. Online. This is probably the easiest place to start, especially if you’re more comfortable with words than faces. Find and introduce yourself to writers who are writing Substacks you enjoy or whose Instagram or other social media accounts speak to you. Be a friend first by reading and commenting and hopefully they’ll return the favor. There are also a ton of online writing groups and communities worth looking into. Here’s a list.

2. Visit your local library or bookstore. Besides the fact that one or both might have dedicated writing groups you can join (or book clubs - anyone that reads is a friend worth making!) you can also wander around and see who you find. Maybe there’s someone you always bump into at the new fiction shelf or someone that reads the same types of books you do while waiting for their kids to come out of a class. Even if it doesn’t advance to a friendship beyond that, so many people are lonely and starving for a smile and small connection. You might make someone’s day.

3. Take a writing class. You’ll learn something new and hopefully make some new friends. I’m still in touch with several of the women I took a Mediabistro (if you know you know!) writing class with eons ago. We’ve all gone off in different writing directions (and I only edit now) but it is so lovely to have them in my life.

4. Ask your team. If you’re lucky enough to have an agent and / or editor, tell them you’re looking for writer friends or to join a critique group. I recently listened to a great podcast featuring authors Jo Piazza and Elle Cosimano. Elle spoke about two writers her agent introduced her to when she was just starting out. They’re still in a critique group to this day! The conversation was very inspiring if you want to listen.

5. National Novel Writing Month. If you participate, you can enter your location and find in-person events around your neighborhood. Alternatively, you can go to Meetup.com and put in your location to see if there are any writing activities in your area - or go really crazy and start your own!

6. Writing Conventions. Have you heard of Bouchercon? Or RWA? Or Thrillerfest? Those are just the tip of the iceberg of writing conventions. Here’s a more complete list. It takes guts to go mingle, but even just sitting in the audience and listening to the panels will be very illuminating. Who knows where your career will go from there!

How did you find your writer friends? Please share in the comments!

P.S. This newsletter is a labor of love. If you enjoy it then please recommend it, share it with your friends, and consider upgrading your subscription. That inspires me to keep it going…instead of just zoning out on the couch watching NCIS!