39 Comments
User's avatar
Carrie Schaeffer's avatar

Kristen,

I have been thinking about your post all day today--about how I long for a creative sisterhood.

I wrote about it--thank you for the inspiration!

https://carrieschaeffer.substack.com/p/dirty-hair

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

That is beautiful! Thanks for sharing

Expand full comment
Brian Watson's avatar

There are two groups where I have found amazing support among other writers. The first is a co-writing group that meets on Zoom every weekday at 9:30 AM PT. The second is the Seattle Writers Meetup, a smaller group that also meets on Zoom but on Monday evenings.

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

That’s great! I love how Zoom has added so many socializing options to our lives!

Expand full comment
Jon's avatar

Your piece on finding writer friends is both encouraging and practical. The suggestions for connecting online, attending local events, and participating in writing classes are fantastic. Your personal anecdotes add a warm touch, making this a delightful and motivating read. Thank you!

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

Thank you for the kind words! I’m so glad you enjoyed.

Expand full comment
Mary Lou Rivera's avatar

Kristen, you're 100% correct about writing being a lonely endeavor...out of necessity, of course. It's hard to write when other conversations are going on around you. But I went on a writer's retreat with a friend of mine who'd found that she enjoyed writing. It was one of the best things this introvert did! Spending a few days with people who speak, think, and write the same language (if in different "dialects" - genres) was like winning the lottery. I was with people who understood the joys AND the blood, sweat and tears of the writing life. I've also been a part of a writer's group (Vicki Pettersson's House of Ink) for a few years, and that's been wonderful. Everyone in that group is SO supportive, and now I don't feel so alone anymore.

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

I’m so glad you found your people, in a way that works for you! And Vicki Pettersson’s amazing House of Ink is worth exploring for any writers out there who haven’t found their people yet. It is so supportive and welcoming and just wonderful!

Expand full comment
Shonda Sinclair's avatar

Thank you for this article. It is so true that we need each other. I have a virtual writing group on Facebook called Writer's Road (a public and a private group). In the private group, we are working through Beth Kempton's Way of the Fearless Writer and we meet by Zoom once per month. It truly is helpful to have a group of people to bounce your writing off of and to engage with to keep you motivated. We are always open to new members (Writer's Road 2024 Fearless Writing Group). Ready for more new writing friends. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3666730690252075

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

Thanks for sharing! I hope some readers of my newsletter come your way!

Expand full comment
Lucy's avatar

I've always been so annoyed that there aren't any book clubs / (affordable) writing groups in my area, but since joining here & social media, I've met so many wonderful people! A few of whom I am lucky enough to call my friends. Writers are a lovely bunch and, like you say, a lot of us are searching for a community of sorts

Expand full comment
Monique Bae's avatar

Thanks for the suggestions! There’s a couple on the list I had not considered before. As for me, I’m an American living in Japan and have fortunately come across an annual writers conference and joined an organization of writers, editors, and translators that has a monthly writers meet up. I’m a teacher by profession, and I find a lot of overlap between those who teach and also read and/or write.

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

It sounds like you found your people. That’s so great!

Expand full comment
Ariel Curry's avatar

I met my core group of writer friends through an online community. We were distant acquaintances until we all (6 of us!) decided to rent an Airbnb together for a conference, and the time we spent together in the Airbnb ended up being the best part of the entire trip. It's been almost two years now, and we are each other's biggest cheerleaders and talk constantly. I'm so grateful!

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

That is amazing! And I am so glad it went well. Because renting an Airbnb with eight strangers sounds like the set up a reality show. 😂

Expand full comment
Shonda Sinclair's avatar

Could definitely go off the rails in unexpected ways. 😂

Expand full comment
Shonda Sinclair's avatar

This is wonderful!! I have been trying to plan a meetup for 2025, but so far no success in finding interested parties that can coordinate dates. I look forward to having one sometime in the near future.

Expand full comment
Luna Campos's avatar

I love your newsletter. It's nice to have a warm, friendly, encouraging voice helping me along the road because, as you said, writing can be so lonely and isolating. I have friends and family who are supportive of my writing, but it's true that only other writers really get what it's like – but because we're at it alone 99% of the time, it's difficult to find each other. So thank you for this piece and all the reassuring, helpful advice ❤️

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

Thank you so much for your kind words! And I hope my readers know that even if they can’t find the writing friends of their dreams, I’m always here too.

Expand full comment
Tabitha's avatar

This is beautiful! It's amazing to know other people share my thoughts on connecting with others who are on the same lonely trail. My first writer friends are from the very first publication I joined when I started new on Medium. They've been really supportive, super nice, and more friendly publications have been stemming from the process. Everyone is growing and improving. I still look forward to making so much more.

Honestly, if any writer is still walking this already lonely road alone, find yourself some buddies. It's one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

I love that you found friends on Medium and they stuck with you all along this crazy journey. That’s really beautiful - and lucky!

Expand full comment
Prajna O'Hara's avatar

I found this super helpful - generous.

Thank you

Expand full comment
Nicole Goott's avatar

Seeking and becoming part of a community feels so fundamental to the human experience. Thanks Kristin for sharing these resources. There's quite a lot to look through just in the online communities link you shared! Brilliant!

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

I hope you find something great!

Expand full comment
Nicole Goott's avatar

If nothing else, it's revealed another series of alleyways that may open other doors, both inner and outer! :)

Expand full comment
Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Thanks for this, Kristen! I agree with you - I am starved for a sense of community among like-minded creative professionals. The people in my immediate circle of influence/family and friends just don't understand what it's like to live this way, to be in one's head, to have these specific types of struggles or doubts. Though I have a decent support system, none are writers. None really experience this level of frustration or know how to find ways to connect with other writers who can offer productive feedback or network with others in the publishing industry.

So, I feel very alone in this. I have reached out to my library and to my local writers community, but it's been crickets, oddly. I would join a virtual group, but my preference is IRL connections. Plus, many critique groups are costly, and my wish is that I didn't have to always pay for access to people in the publishing industry.

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

I’m sorry you’re just hearing crickets! I wonder if it would be worth sharing that you’re ready to start one? Can you book a space at the library and host your own? Provide refreshments? Refreshments are always a draw! I wish you the best of luck and I hope that some of the feelers you’ve put out work out soon!!

Expand full comment
Jeannie Ewing's avatar

I used to do things like this all the time - start groups and organize them. I have 5 kiddos now, two of whom are still preschool age and one of whom has a complicated rare genetic condition, so I just don't have the bandwidth to organize and maintain any sort of group. Great idea, though, Kristen. Maybe I'll get to that place again in my life someday when I can try to host a writing group.

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

I hear you. I keep trying to find mom groups in my small town and we don’t have any either. Everyone’s like organize your own. But all I have the other energy for is to edit and then lay on the couch and watch NCIS. Preschool mom life. 😅

Expand full comment
Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Right?! I totally get it, but I am in my forties with preschoolers. Wish I were younger!

Expand full comment
Shonda Sinclair's avatar

I agree with Kristen. You might find interested individuals if you host a library gathering once or twice a month. It's worth a try! If you can't find IRL people, there are plenty of us on

Substack who would be happy to connect, and you are welcome to join my virtual group.

Expand full comment
Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Thanks Shonda! What's the group you lead on Substack?

Expand full comment
Adrianna's avatar

I was at a one-time writing workshop at my favorite bookstore when I met a few writers my age! We've been getting together every Monday to write and talk about writing for 6 months now. :)

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

That is wonderful! And so lucky. I hope you continue to meet at your favorite bookstore!

Expand full comment
Sarah's avatar

Hi Kristen, I agree, my writer friends keep me going and give me inspiration. But you left out a big one: Writers organizations like Sisters in Crime, Amherst Writers, California Writers Assoc. etc. They have classes and online activities, but also often have local chapters that meet in person. Knowing some people from my local writers group made it so much easier to go to conferences and meet friends of friends too!

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

That's why we can all use editors :) But they should be in the list of organizations I linked to plus many of them organize writing conferences - so people can find them that way as well!

Expand full comment
Amy Elizabeth's avatar

Thank you for this! Do you have any recommendations on where to find quality (freelance) editors for indie poets/writers?

Expand full comment
Kristen Weber's avatar

This organization is a good place to start! https://www.the-efa.org

Expand full comment
Amy Elizabeth's avatar

I appreciate you, thank you!!

Expand full comment